BOO!seum weekend is in full swing with The Cosmic Candy Caper

BOO!seum weekend is in full swing with The Cosmic Candy Caper   MIDDLE SCHOOL FRIGHT NIGHT, TINY TOTS HALLOWEEN BALL, COSMIC CANDY CAPER & MORE!  Greenville, SC - October 22, 2013 -  What exactly is BOO!seum? Start with a dash of excitement for middle-schoolers with a popular Fright Night dance party on Friday. Then, add a pinch of fun for the littlest ghouls and goblins at the Tiny Tots Halloween Brunch on Saturday morning. Lastly, stir in spooktacular activities all day Saturday and Sunday with an original, interactive live performance called the Cosmic Candy Caper - and you've got it....BOO!seum.    The COSMIC CANDY CAPER show times are 1pm and 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday. Sponsored in part by The Metropolitan Arts Council, this musical theatre performance was developed and performed in partnership with the Warehouse Theatre.      BOO!seum has a long-standing tradition at TCMU, beginning as a fundraising and awareness building initiative many years before the museum opened.  The year's Boo!seum will build on this history by expanding the perfoming arts and emphasizing the important role that the arts and our local arts community play in the visitor experience at the museum. "The Warehouse Theatre is proud to be partnering with The Children's Museum of The Upstate on this project," says Anne Tromsness, Education Director. "As a theatre which focuses on excellence in both our productions and our educational outreach, we welcome the chance to support the Boo!seum, as it reaches hundreds of upstate children, using the theatrical art form to entertain as well as educate."     The interactive, musical performance, Cosmic Candy Caper, will provide a unique opportunity to integrate two of TCMU's core program areas - the C.A.T.C.H. (Coordinated Approach to Child Health) health and wellness curriculum which is the official curriculum for Greenville County Schools used by more than 9,000 school districts across North America - and the museum's commitment to high-quality, engaging arts experience. This original  show written just for The Children's Museum of the Upstate will feature the popular alien characters from the C.A.T.C.H. curriculum.  Throughout the play, the aliens will teach our earth children about the importance of making healthy eating choices and being physically active every day, within the context of Halloween.  The show is appropriate for very young children.     The Children's Museum of the Upstate (TCMU) is known for interactive, informal learning opportunities that reinforce standards-based learning that children receive in school or at home. TCMU's exhibits and programming focus largely on STEAM learning, which highlights Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Mathematics as building blocks for achievement. The inclusion of "art" is especially important to learning. As detailed in a 2002 study by Americans for the Arts, arts learning stimulates and develops the imagination and critical thinking; refines cognitive, creative, and problem-solving skills; encourages goal-setting; and builds self-esteem and self-confidence, among many other benefits. It also serves as a valuable tool for approaching academic learning, as arts integration programs such as MAC's SmartArts have successfully illustrated.   TCMU has a strong track record of weaving both arts learning and art appreciation into their programming, particularly in the Off the Wall Studio, a space dedicated to guided and self-directed hands-on arts activities that introduce a range of art materials and processes to visitors.   To ensure that all of Greenville's families are able to experience this process, TCMU is committed to broad access to our exhibits and programming. TCMU's Fund-A-Family program, offered in partnership with eighteen local United Way-affiliated social service organizations, allows the museum to reach families-in-need with free tickets and special programming, and our Scholarship Program connects with local Title I schools and Head Start preschools to help make field trips more affordable for low-income families.       BOO!seum's CATCH curriculum is supported by the Junior League of Greenville, Piedmont Health Foundation, and the Fortune Family Foundation.  "Cosmic Candy Caper" is supported by the Metropolitan Arts Council.  BOO!seum is also supported by Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas.

The Children's Museum of the Upstate sparks a lifelong passion for curiosity and learning through play. In just four years, TCMU has grown into one of Greenville's premier destinations, attracting over 500,000 children and their families from across the region by providing a unique learning experience through interactive exhibits and educational programming. Conveniently located in downtown Greenville, visitors experience 18 exhibit galleries with more than 100 individual exhibit components that offer a continuum of programming in the areas of arts, humanities, sciences, health, nutrition and the environment. At 80,000 square feet, TCMU is the 7th largest children's museum in the country. There are new and exciting programs developed for every age level to stimulate creativity and stir the imagination. This state-of-the-art museum is designed to encourage learning and exploration, inspiring curiosity for a lifetime.  For more information, visitwww.tcmupstate.org.

Open house at Fire Station 2 in Easley, SC #firesafety #nationalfireprevention

Yesterday evening we enjoyed visiting Fire Station 2 in Easley, SC for their annual open house. They host this community event to educate us all about fire safety. 

My son is obsessed with being a fireman.  He really studies firefighters, down to watching how they fold their gear up to be ready in seconds for an emergency. I really believe one day he will join the ranks of our local firefighter hero's. 

 

Open house included fire safety education coupled with a chance for children to meet local firefighters, police officers, game wardens, EMS, and more.  Children were able to sit in police cars, firetrucks, and even an ambulance!  Fun fire safety mascot's included Freddie the Fire Cat, Sparky the Fire Dog, and Sparky the Robot. Tony, the Easley drug dog was also there.  Children were able to put out a miniature fire and learn about what to do in a true emergency.  We also went into a fire simulator and actually got down and crawled out. It helped kids practice exactly what to do in case of a fire. 

 

 Children learned about 911, seatbelt safety, how to roll out of bed in the event of an emergency and crawl to safety. It is vital that children know what to do in an emergency! 

I sincerely thank our local firefighters, police department, medical emergency responders,and all of those  people who help keep our families safe!   We thoroughly enjoyed open house!!! Thanks for educating my family and allowing us to visit!

National Fire Prevention Week is October 6-12

For more life saving information, please visit  the National Fire Protection Association.

  

Fire Station 2 is located at 180 Glenwood Road, Easley, SC

 

Easley Fire Department on Facebook

The 2013 Smoke Detector campaign kicks off on October 14, 2013.  Read more about this campaign from their website.

Ultrasounds and Autism....The Aftermath

Ultrasounds appeal to us, they appeal to our emotions and curiosity and we get cloaked into a dizzy tailspin of fantasy about our new creation, as if we are given a key of knowledge, a glimpse into our very future-BUT IS IT WORTH IT? NO!!!

I will be the first one to tell you, that when my Midwife or OB would mention a scan, I would "light up" just thinking I would get a peak at my little one. Never once questioning the safety of the procedure, it is with grave reret that I write this.  A lump in my throat and a flood gate of tears come over me as I think back to those scans, that I could have directly and permanently affected my son's life, unknowingly.  His brain was and is so delicate and I let my lust for getting a peak at him and ignorance of the safety, that just maybe altered his life forever. Just to look at my beautiful son asleep, he looks totally normal, but his brain is just different. We work hard and he is loved beyond measure, but did our very technology somehow contribute to his Autism??? I think know so. 

I have just been literally blown out of the water reading everything I could get my hands on, about fetal exposure to the sound and heat of these "so called  harmless" ultrasounds.  All of those times, we think baby is hiding from us, they are probably very literally 'running from the scan!'  They are trying to convey, that it is damaging them, maybe at the very moment causing pain.

Our brains are delicate, very delicate, and this technology, we use, as if we are guinea pigs could affect an entire generation, because we blindly agree and get seduced into believing it is best, and in the meantime we are given an illusion of control in the womb. Let me also add that this is a money making industry and with each scan, and our assurance that all is well in the womb, our very piece of mind is paid for with a high price, even higher than we once thought-just maybe our children's future. We see our baby, we see what he or she looks like, what they are doing, an we yearn for more. We are obsessed with every detail of it and have begun as a society thinking it is a rite of passage to know the sex of your baby and actually see him or her in utero. I cannot believe I never questioned it-ever.

I want to thank a brilliant author, researcher and incredible woman, Jennifer Margulis.  Her talent and lust for truth and to educate her fellow (wo)man is awe-inspiring.  I am honored to be a part in some small way, of spreading the word about her hard work and dedication.  We as women, as Mother's need to research everything before deeming anything is safe. Thanks to Jennifer Margulis for opening my eyes to all of this. I am forever changed by it, and hope that you will do your own research and never assume that this is a good procedure for you or your baby. As I type this and look at the technology all around, I wonder what is next?  What convenience piece in our quick serve world will cause the next Cancer, my phone, my computer, or the foods we eat?  Truth really is stranger than fiction.

Below is an excerpt from the Huffington Post about Ultrasounds and Autism:

"Is it correct to say that prenatal ultrasound can heat fetal tissue and cause intense auditory effects?

Yes. Scientists at Yale (Ang, et al, 2006) found that exposure to pulsed ultrasound waves affects the movement of neurons (nerve cells) in the brains of rodents. Neurons are generated in one area of the developing brain and migrate to the cerebral cortex. This migration of neurons is one of the most delicate, complex and critical processes during fetal development. Anything that could change how and where brain cells grow and develop also may change basic brain functionality and all processes that depend on this phase of nervous system organization.

In addition, researchers at the Mayo Clinic characterized the audible effect of a typical ultrasound scanner as equal to 100 dB, equal to the sound of a subway train entering a station (Fatemi, et al, 2005)."

In closing, we all tend to drink the kool-aid, as I will be the first to admit that I took BIG gulps, especially with the ultrasounds.  I became drunk with the fantasy of seeing my baby for any reason the OB deemed necessary, never giving any thought to the aftermath.  You cannot Un-Ring a Bell.....I am trying to take everything I have learned and be more informed.  Until my son is whole, I will never give up. EVER!

If you want to read more (beware: it's hard to understand), check out the work of Manuel Casanova... http://minicolumn.org/people/casanova/

I Ran into Almira Gulch and we had a conversation about Autism...

Almira Gulch, the mean old woman in The Wizard of Oz, also known later in the film as The Wicked Witch crossed paths with me today.  After occupational and speech therapy today, we went to the mall to walk around a bit before going home.  Therapy is forty miles away and because of the rain, we decided to walk off some energy before going home.  As we walked around and went from store to store, Brock was a little overstimulated, but I am used to this and I realize others are not. We always talk about being respectful to others and always following the Golden Rule.  Brock gets hung up on certain things and goes on and on, even to the point of driving me mad sometimes.  He was ready to go at this point and was asking me over and over to go home, and I told him, to give me a few more minutes and we would be back at the other store.  We were at one store and the store we parked at was across the mall and processing all of this is pretty hard for him.  He asked me over and over and an older woman(who I might add looked somewhat like Miss Gulch-seriously), said "STOP SASSING YOUR MOM!".  I went into Mama Bear mode and said, "Excuse me, he has a disability, he is Autistic!" I owed her nothing, no explanation, but felt obligated to say this because afterall, he does not know when to stop asking and when it gets on his mind, he will ask over and over.  I officially had lost the battle of the wits with a nut! She went on to say her son was too(she was probably in her late 60's), and I said to her, and what form of Autism does he have? and she replied with NOTHING.... Obviously she was most likely not being truthful! I said my son has PDD look it up and we walked off.  He looks normal, so people don't get how lucky they are to be able to comprehend and process language.  Communication and processing thoughts, words, and surroundings is hard on him and takes effort that the rest of us could never imagine. She then said to me, you are making excuses for him and at this point, I thought I was going to grow horns, but I kept my cool. I wanted to say, as sweet as only Aunt Em did, "I would tell you what I think about you, if I wasn't a Christian woman."(loosely quoted).  I have spent all day explaining to my children that some people in this world are rude and miserable and although they exist with us, good really does over come evil. Although, as it breaks my heart to say this, Brock has been upset about it, but cannot process what I keep trying to say to him, but only can focus on her being ugly to us.  He isn't perfect, but has never been completely malicious as this total stranger was to us.

What irritates me is that this woman, could care less about me or my child, so why on Earth, would she say anything to us??  Certainly not for our welfare, but because she is a mean wicked witch, she must need drama for the day, or she is obviously a cousin to Almira Gulch.  If she only had a heart.....

Don't surrender to meanness Mama's, set a better example.   I wish I would not have given this woman the time of day, after she said that.  She wanted to be ugly, to have confrontation, and rightfully so, I became emotionally at war with this woman, out loud, in my head, with the how dare you's, and how could you be so mean, but unfortunately my children saw me unravel and loose my composure with this woman.  I felt attacked and backed into a corner, but I should know better because you cannot argue with someone like that.  I did not cry, but left fuming, with my son asking me about strangers and rudeness.  After that, each person we passed he very out loud vocalized saying, "Is she rude?" "Is she going away?" Is she a stranger, too, a mean one?"  How mean that she has left a dent in our day like that.  She really went out of her way to be unkind. I wonder how unkind she has been treated?

What Miss Almira doesn't realize is my son will have to have the courage of the lion to make it in this world, to live with Autism and how others will interact with him. He will need lots of courage just to tackle Autism, as I do, too.  Advocating for your child also takes the courage of the lion.

As parents we must all stay on the path to fight for our children.  We have to continue our journey on the Yellow Brick Road, no matter how many bumps in the road we encounter, we have to keep going and persevering, because there is nothing more important than our children.  We must overcome obstacles and never give up!  Just dealing with the big world is a challenge, but imagine a world of unknown's and scary hurdles to climb? Autism is a journey of the unknown, where will it take us, what can we do?  We have to keep the Faith, Get Involved, and Support Autism Awareness to change this nation, and this world.

I sincerely try to be kind in stores, and in passing with others.  When I worked outside of the home, I was a public servant and worked for our state government in placement with juvenile's.  I always treated the children and parents with respect, because you should, and a little kindness goes a long, long way.  It doesn't cost a thing to be nice to people. You really never know what is going on with people and the stresses they live with.   What joy could being ugly to another bring?

In the end, as I said "Good" really does outweigh the "Bad", no matter what.  It is such a shame that this stranger went completely out of her way to cast judgement, when she had no idea what really was going on.  Lucky for her I was not a lunatic and did not have a gun in my purse, or she could have just pushed me over the edge and I could have snapped because one cross word to someone could turn their lives upside down. I want to bring forth positive feelings in people and not negative ones.  We all need to stop and think, sometimes things are not what they appear to be, and be a little nicer.  There are so many children who look normal, but may have  disabilities, disorders,

My MightyLittle Man!

My mighty little man, how sweet you are, how patient you are. You were blessed to watch over and some day in some way, be your big brother's keeper. You love him for who he is. You delight in his differences and celebrate them. You know of no other; you would not have changed the course if you could. You love deeply, accept the distant moments, embrace the joy you are given, and will forever be there when the world has let him down. You are strong beyond your years.  A bond sewn between two boys, that will enrich their lives, and with love guiding the way, will uplift them even in the darkest days.

You are very special.

You will be tested; you will pass these tests with flying colors.  You reveal yourself with love, and compassion for others. You put him before you, you worry and you seek to help him, even at a tender age.

I am so proud of my little man, who will one day soar into a big man, one of pure heart and unshakeable character. One that will be a peaceful presence in the midst of a chaotic world that sometimes will engulf his brother.  You will reach out your hand with love, as only you will be able to, and keep that fortress together when the world around you may crumble. You are a noble and wise little man, whom God bestowed blessings on. You will courageously battle the world for your brother at all costs. You will educate those around you. You will shine in all that you do and your world will be molded from your already empathetic nature.


You were chosen to lead the way, to protect, to love, and with these great gifts you will see blessings unfold in your path. You may feel discouraged in fleeting moments. It will pass. Your path is laid before many, you will gain new strengths from challenges that you might face. You will learn much from your older brother; be still and listen. You will unlock answers and turn stones over that were overlooked by many. You will be a force to be reckoned with if someone breaks his heart. You are a warrior and will shield him from pain, whenever you can. You will make sense of nonsense, from the world around you. You will find help in unlikely places sometimes. You will show others the way. You can do it. You have it right there, and you will be amazed. You will make his dreams come true, if that means moving impossible obstacles. Love will always awaken your spirit.  Remember my little one, you are special...you are loved....

You will teach us lessons and show us another world,altogether. You will bring out those qualities that we cannot reach, you will flourish and grow and do wonderful deeds. You will not hear of  impossible, give up, or lost cause. You will have integrity and others will notice. You will be made great by your love that you have for others, by your never ending faith. You will be wise beyond your years and a great teacher someday. You will lend a hand and show him the way. We are lucky to have you, to be blessed by your presence. We revel in your beauty, your love, your unyielding and soaring spirit.

I love you my mighty little man!!!

My Beautiful Boy Brock and our Journey on the Spectrum... Past and Present

Just two days shy of Valentine's Day 2003, a swollen ankle, brought me into my doctor's office, only to get the best news of my life, that I was expecting a blessing!  I cried tears of joy and was overcome with emotion as my husband and I held each other. I was going to be a Mom and inside of my body, a beautiful baby was forming.  I know some people say this, but I knew my baby was a boy,I could feel it.  I dreamed of how he would look and I shopped for his perfect nursery, and could not wait until October, for his arrival.  He was right on time and born on a Tuesday night, October 7, 2003 at 11:50 pm after a very long labor.  It may seem silly but I knew you were also blessed, because you were surrounded by 7's, born on the 7th.  To say that you took my breath away was certainly an understatement. One night while eating out(you were about 6 weeks old) and a stranger looked at me and said you are in love, and you have not taken your eyes off of that precious baby since you arrived. It was obvious to the rest of the world that I was indeed in love with this precious gift I had been given, that I had prayed for, for years.  He is the light of my life and you could not find a more proud Mama than me. Brock was a wonderful baby, and so good natured. He was such a beautiful boy, and still is.  He was patient and loving, and would play so good with his toys. Sometimes he would stare off in deep thought while playing, but we thought that the wheels were turning and he was a deep thinker. Brock is striking with blonde hair and blue eyes, just a beautiful child and I would get stopped in stores with people telling me how beautiful he was.  His picture was featured at our local CVS and each time I went in, I would smile all over. Simply put, he was as close to a perfect baby as I knew, inside and out.  I had waited nearly 31 years for this precious gift, and I am thankful, and blessed.

As time went on, I started to wonder about my beautiful baby boy.  On October 7, 2004 on his first birthday, my baby boy was very sick and had to be air lifted to a children's hospital. To say it was a nightmare would not give the grave situation we were faced justice. He was anaphalaxying to eggs and we had no idea that he was allergic. We got through that hurdle as scary as it was, and knowing that I would have to be a watch dog over all of his food, and be careful when eating out. I began reading every label, researching restaurants, and believe it or not, in 2004 it was a lot harder to get that information. I was like a dog with a bone. My child would have cake without eggs, and enjoy the pleasures that everyone else would have.  Armed with an epi pen and a little bit of knowledge, I found ways to make everything without egg and educated each person that was around Brock of his food allergies.  I always hated going to a party and Brock could not eat the cake. I would feel so sorry for him.  Little did I know then, that his food allergies were just the beginning of our world turning upside down.

After that scary incident, I was an overly protective Mom and I did not return back into the work force. I noticed that Brock was a little behind, although he walked early, and said "Mama" at just five months old.  I decided it was up to me, and we practiced our ABC's, number's, etc. He aced it and everyone was amazed at how well he knew it. I patted myself on the back, thinking I was doing great.  Brock was different.  He would say words, and loved Thomas the Train. He could say each train's name, but could not carry on a conversation with us.  He did point but not always, and the questions you are asked for screenings can leave you feeling torn, and wondering because Brock never quite fit into some of the categories. The reason I believe is because so little is understood about Autism, and we are just working our way toward a better solution, without understanding the problem as a whole. So, at this point, I think he is a little behind, but being my first child and having nothing to compare it with, I simply did not know what to think. He never asked for a drink, ever. I assumed I was meeting his needs before he needed it and thus the reason he never asked. Maybe I am the problem. Hmmm.. My husband and I also thought that maybe he would benefit from a morning daycare program, because he also only wanted to be with me, so we found a wonderful daycare. I absolutely loved it and the workers loved Brock. He never cried when I dropped him off, and I thought, now he will play with the other children and maybe make a connection, something I had somehow failed to do for him. He had fun, but would never tell me anything about his daycare and I kept noticing differences. I remember he recited the pledge of allegiance while driving down the road. I nearly wrecked my car, because he never mentioned school or anything they talked about and shamefully so, I was complacent and had learned to sort of except it. After asking Mrs. Pat about it, she replied, that he never sat in group, but he picked up anything and everything they learned. Again at this point he is still very little, and we can only guess that it is hard for him to be still, and that he has been an only child.  She would say that you may think he is not listening, but he absorbs everything. Flash Forward to an ah-ha moment and a tearful one at that, was later, when I asked the daycare about testing Brock(he was 3 at this point) and I was asking about his communication skills. Each time I would say anything to my pediatrician he would say Brock is fine, just a little behind, but makes eye contact, he speaks well, etc., but he did not always make eye contact and he only heard minimal speech at doctor visits. Mrs. Pat began telling me that Brock had an accident a few days ago, because the bathroom door was locked and instead of telling someone, he did not know what to do so he peed in his pants. That completely broke my heart and right then I had to do something.  I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. No one knew what to say and wanted to help, but they all looked at each other. How did I miss this?  I knew something did not add up, but had I gotten used to this, and just blinded myself to a problem that clearly existed?

Brock was so hard to potty train. It took years and a whole year after he peed in the potty before he would poop in the potty.  We tried it all, rewarding him, sitting on the potty forever it seemed like but nothing worked.  I read books, talked to other Mom's and I thought I am a failure, why can't I do this?

I was placed on a very long waiting list, and it was literally months before we could get an evaluation. After all testing, I received the "developmentally delayed"label, but not Autism. Thank God, it's not Autism, oh and we just have to work harder, things are going to get better. Thank God it's not Autism.  Fast Forward another year, things are getting a little better, language is improving with speech therapy, we still have temper tantrums, and we still love Thomas the Train, but things are getting better.  You now go to preschool and receive services from the school system.  I am hopefully optimistic and believe it is just a matter of time. We are getting there, we are working hard and climbing those hills to reach our goal. Even my family members commented on Brock's progress.  We were hopeful and believing that he was a late bloomer, so to speak, and everyone will tell you boys mature at a slower rate, and they do everything pretty much behind little girls. That's all it is is, Karen, I would say to myself when I was all alone.  I was pretty convincing. It was those little talks, or purposefully ignoring it and it will go away attitude, which for me, was easy after a while. I would not pay attention to the oddities but focus on the improvement.  It is quite easy to live in a fantasy world, especially when doctors, family and even friends give you the comfort you need to be there. I would hear words like, he is just a boy, he'll grow out of it, and you begin to embrace and cling to it.  Don't let go, things will get better....

We had begun to except certain things, and were very hopeful that you were just 4, that you were just 5, that you were just 6, and would "grow out" of the temper tantrums, being infatuated with Thomas the Train, and having difficulty with language, and socializing with other children. The older he became, the more aware I became, and I started again on my journey, only to hear it is ADHD, and he is still delayed but it is not Autism. Thank You God, it is not Autism. Thank you God, it is not Autism.  Another huge sigh of relief, while still questioning internally the diagnosis.  He did play with Hunter, a friend of mine's son, but, you see, he really played along side of Hunter, and that is tricky to say he never plays with other children. It can all be left up to interpretation.  See how easy it is, and hard to distinguish? You want to hear that your child is going to be fine even when you know different. A professional is taking that ugly "Autism Monster" and saying he has left the building, do not be afraid, your child is not a statistic. Slay that Monster, slash him down, he doesn't exist, and has followed you because of the worry, but it is not really your reality. I would cry each time, and be thankful it was not Autism.  As time went on again, we had problems, he still played by himself, did not want us to interact, and never had friends but now, we have hand flapping, which I had never seen before, and he would cover his ears when you mentioned the zoo or animal sounds.  Where did this come from? Before he had poor language, and now it was pretty fantastic, I thought and we have some seriously sensory issues going on. How can this be? I just answered no to all of those questions, and put it out of my mind. It's not Autism.....is it???

I thought I had failed Brock in some way, that I had babied him too much, that he just wanted me, and that I lacked in teaching him conversation skills.  Where did I go wrong?  Each time he ranted and tantrumed, I thought it was my fault, that because he had been sick with food allergies, ear infections, and multiple sinus infections, that I just "gave in" too much. Even my husband thought I had created a brat at times. He would lay in the floor and cry. I could not console him or get him to stop. I did not know what to do and I thought I begged for this blessing and I am his Mother and I cannot understand him. I failed my sweet boy in more ways than one.

We went to a water park one Summer and Brock loves the water, but he completely melted down that day and out of shear exhaustion let Josh hold him. Normally he just wanted me, but he was so worn out, he just lay in Josh's arms.  Josh and I talked, and would change routines, decide to be tougher, and be more scheduled. This would help, surely it would.  Nothing helped and after years of finally having enough and plenty of break downs, I went back on our check up and said my son is Autistic. He has always been, and I can see it clearly now and I see all of the signs that were there, that I wanted to hide, or blame myself for, or hoped it was just delays, but the monster was back again staring me in the face and I had to be armed and brave and face it, this time I knew it, stronger and more confident and willing to except, those words.  I could finally bear it, but what price had Brock paid for waiting so long? I had to go through getting more therapy and being put on waiting lists again. It was done, and I slayed the monster. Autism lay at my feet, and it was raw and transparent, and not wavering whatsoever. This was our reality, it was here in front of me, no longer masquerading around.  After another evaluation, we heard the words again that I did not want to hear, but I said a prayer this time, Thank you God, for those words, Autism, we know we did not fail Brock and that Brock indeed is trying as hard as he can, but he lives with this chaos, as we all know it to be on the Autism spectrum. It is no one's fault, no one is to blame, but just the way it is.  He just became a statistic, 1 in 110 children, 1 in 70 boys, he made that horrible list, I had dodged for years.  I will fight with all that I am to help improve my son's life, to make sure he has the best that we can give him,  and above all that he is a happy boy, a confident boy, a sweet, boy. He is my loving and beautiful boy, Brock and Autism will never change that.  He is smart, funny, intelligent, obedient, has the heart of a giant, and lights up with pure excitement over trivial adventures, or a new train, Toy Story, etc. He loves life, his family, works harder than any little boy I know, and really tries hard to complete any task. He gets frustrated, but never gives up. He is tough as nails and has been through a lot. He was hospitalized 13 times in the first two years of life. He has horrible allergies and eczema and NEVER complains. He is quick to light up your day with those beautiful blue eyes and that radiant smile. He plays with my hair still, and has pet names for me. I don't know what I would do without his hands in my hair. I know others may think it's odd, but he has always done it, and I am completely used to it. He calls me Speeder(no clue why, because I do not get in a hurry, hardly ever), or Slinky from Toy Story 3.  Each person he is close to, he will pick a character out of Toy Story and lovingly refer to them. He really gets into it. His imagination is amazing to me, and he is completely gifted. He can seriously recite the entire movie and really acts each scene out. Once touched by Brock you are never the same.

I am blessed to be Brock's Mom and I will do anything for him. I just hope that one day, Brock will wake up and language will not be so difficult, that making friends will be easy, that certain sounds won't upset him and that he can freely tell me anything without getting trapped in his own thoughts. I hope that in his lifetime a cure for Autism is discovered, and the reasons why. The number of children affected just blossoms each day and it's ballooning into an epidemic.  All of these children that are Autistic are so different, but alike in some aspects. It is hard to distinguish, and even myself, sometimes miss the signs, and think that child is misbehaving, and low and behold it will be a child similar to mine, with Autism.  Autism is a puzzle, an enigma to Mom's, Dad's, Doctor's and even the children that live with it. It is and can be gradual, mistaken for delays, even showing up later, and give others lots of unwarranted advise for you, all of which I take with a grain of salt. Because my son looks "normal", whatever that means, he is expected to be like eveyone else, from teachers, to peers, to even family member's. He is different, special, gifted, blessed, and often misunderstood. He is not like everyone else. His brain is somehow wired different and he needs understanding, love, acceptance, and guidance. His character is already strong and fighting to be free and I believe that if he could only really tell me that he would, because I can tell when the frustration is brimming over, that he cannot take one more minute of it. I will remain steadfast the one always in Brock's corner, fighting, researching, making other's stand up and take notice, bringing it to the forefront, and seeking answers and solutions myself, even unconventional ones, so long as Brock is safe and agrees. I am not out to change my wonderful son, but to open doors, to be the one that brings that light in for him or another child like him.  I possess enough love to help him become a successful man, with all of life's richest blessings and hope that our walk with Autism leaves us coming out the other side, better, stronger, more faithful and hopeful with a drive and determination to change the world.  Something has to be done, someone has to help, and we have to get involved.  Only through heartache have I become an activist, only through love, only through perseverance, and only with God's abiding love.  Imagine a day in the life of an Autistic child, close your eyes and see if you could wonder in the dark being trapped inside. We can make a difference and each day counts.  I will do what I can each day to make a difference and stop Autism in it's tracks, will you?

Learn more about Autism at Autism Speaks. Help us be a part of the solution.  Please.  It could be your child.

Brock was diagnosed with PDD-NOS Autism in 2011 after 7 long years of frustration we finally had a label and started adding in extra therapy for ST and OT. Early intervention is key. Persevere Parents and keep pressing if you really believe there is a problem. It may take several attemtps, but in the end you can help give your child more services to be as successful as he or she can be. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Together our love can make a HUGE difference, let's fight for our children! 

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! "
-Audrey Hepburn

Charming Mr. Chaos... #Autism

Numbers running in my head, letters, colors, everywhere...

Sitting still is all I can do, tapping my pencil, wriggling over and over ever so quietly

Where is Puppet? Scattered thoughts again over and over

Shhh...Focus....You must work, you must concentrate...

Where am I? Sodor is just beyond the tracks, golden rays hiding in the clouds.

The transfer yards I have entered the building through this morning in a sleepy slumber, in my mind

that is.

Illusions created, much better than the mundane picture before me. I walk slowly,
smiling about the thoughts jumbled in my head. Trains, colors, and more...

My mind fills up and chases thought after thought not catching  a single one

Noises crowd my room, bells, talking, pencils, zippers, shuffling

High pitched voice, low pitched, voices all mingling, intermittent  sounds flowing from one end of my ear to another.

Overwhelming lights, the air blowing in my hair; focus, how can I?

Too much extensional happenings here there and everywhere, in my head, at school and even when I lay in my bed, sometimes I am just full of dread. I think, think, think, and my body moves with my thoughts.

Worries abound and thinking, thinking about  everything. 

Slam my door, you are locked out. My fortress is just for me, stay out!

I will build images from the day that were trapped in my head.  They will flow with the numbers or matter or history I soaked up today.

I repeat the words I hear over and over in the movie I just saw, in perfect pitch. I enlighten my Mom, my brother, and Dad. No---- Dad is at work.

He cannot be here after school. NO! It's too soon. Not yet, it jumbles more thoughts. Only Mommy can be here right now. I will know when it's time for Daddy. Not yet.

I am gaining inner peace, just here in my world, where fun is always happening and with my trains and Woody and Buzz too. I change my movie. I watch, and listen. I change again, and again.

What do they do when I am gone? They play just like I do in my head. Busy in motion, just like me.

Laying on my bed for a moment, completely drawn in to the TV I watch, I miss the
surroundings that once cluttered my mind, I am just in the moment.

Serene. Calm. Ahhh....

Back to thoughts, racing...

Knaws of my familiar chewy, a train goes by and I stare out. Music blares from somewhere...

Can I be still in thought, in motion?

I can't, but oh I try.

I am spilling over with thought and emotion, so much so it will not come out.

I can think of wheels in motion, numbers floating in my head.

9's stand out...V's I light up to. It transcends a giddiness within me.

Come and see my creation, want you Mom? Oh how creative! Now just go--- get out!

Back to play, back to colors, numbers, jumbled thoughts and the buzzing under my breath that vibrates my tongue. Busy, busy, at play. Please brother just go away.

Lost in play, as carefree as a bird, how truly wonderful it must be to wander so slightly, to stay wrapped in your world by night and by day.

For  my Brock.....
Lovingly You, My Sweet Boy!